


a death in the family

by OnyxSphynx



Series: newmann one-shots [30]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, From Beyond the Grave, Hurt/Comfort, Lars Gottlieb Being a Dick, M/M, me projecting onto hermann? naaaaaah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 03:43:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18024023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnyxSphynx/pseuds/OnyxSphynx
Summary: Post-almost-apocalypse, an unexpected death leaves Hermann in a state of uncertainty





	a death in the family

**Author's Note:**

> for the anon prompt: "please just let me go"

Hermann’s not in the lab when Newt gets there, which is, in and of itself, odd. However, things do come up, even for Hermann, so Newt isn’t—terribly—worried. At first.

When noon comes and goes without Hermann materializing to shout at him about proper safety procedures, however, he begins to get antsy. It’s not too bad at first, but by the time six o’ clock rolls around, he’s pacing his side of the lab, too anxious to concentrate on anything.

Finally, when he realizes he’s reread the same line of test results for the fourth time and still has no idea what it says, he says fuck it and decides to go find Hermann.

Hermann’s not in the mess, or his room, and no one’s seen him since the day before. “I’m sure he’s fine,” Tedo tries to reassure, him, but Newt’s mind is racing a thousand miles an hour, spinning up the worst possible scenarios.  _What if he’s hurt? What if he’s been kidnapped? What if—_

“Newt, chill, I’m sure he’s fine—,” Tendo says, again, seeing his agitation, but Newt’s already gone.

There’s only one other place Newt can think of—he doubts Hermann is there in this weather, but the memory of Hermann confiding in him,  _the stars make me feel…safe_ , urges him on.  _Let him be alright_ , he thinks, bites his cheek in trepidation as he climbs the stairs.

The door creaks open on rusted hinges when he tries the handle, opens up to the roof, blanketed in darkness. To one side, the bright neons of Hong Kong shine; to the other, the Pacific stretches out, disappearing over the horizon like a splash of black paint.

“Hermann?” he calls hesitantly, eyes still adjusting to the darkness, but he does catch something shifting. “Hermann, are you up here?”

There’s a moment of silence, before he hears Hermann. “What are you doing up here?”

“Hermann,” Newt breathes a sigh of relief, making his way towards the dark, parka-wrapped figure. “You’re alright.”

“Of course I am.” Hermann’s tone is clipped, but he sounds like he’s going to start crying. “I don’t need you to be my minder.”

“I wasn’t—” Newt locks his jaw, sits down next to Hermann. The ground is frigid through his jeans, but he ignores it, locking gazes with Hermann. “I was worried for you, dude.”

“Well, you needn’t be,” Hermann snaps. “I’m fine.”

The downturn of his trembling lips says otherwise. “Don’t bullshit me, dude. What’s wrong?” Newt asks, sets a hand on Hermann’s knee. 

“ _Nothing_ ,” Hermann hisses, shoving Newt’s hand away, and stumbles to his feet.

“Hey—”

“Please just let me go,” Hermann whispers. “Please, Newton, I—”

He’s crying, tears running down his cheeks, and he drags a hand harshly over his eyes, breath slightly ragged. Newt stands up, hand awkwardly hovering half-raised. “Hey, man, do you—do you want a hug?”

Hermann doesn’t respond verbally, but the way he leans towards Newt is enough. Newt closes the gap between them, wraps his arms around the trembling physicist. “Shh, Herms, it’s okay,” he comforts. Hermann’s grip on his shirt is tight, fists clenched into the fabric, slightly uncomfortable, but Newt can’t bring himself to care. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Hermann sniffles, silent, before he finally says, voice choked, “My—my father died yesterday. I only found out about it this morning.”

_Oh_. Lars is…Newt doesn’t know much about him, other than that he was, to put it lightly, a shit father, and they had an estranged relationship. Newt, despite never having met him, hates— _hated_  him; Hermann’s memories of the man are not pleasant, and, as bad as it sounds, Newt hadn’t expected Hermann to be this broken up over his death.

But Hermann continues, unaware of Newt’s thoughts. “We were—we were never close, but I—I spent so much of my childhood trying to please him, to gain his approval, and now he’s—he’s  _dead._ ” Hermann lets out a choked laugh. “I don’t—I don’t know how to feel, Newton. He was—" he stops, hides his face in Newt’s shoulder. Newt hugs him tighter.

“It’s alright,” he says simply. “It’s alright that you don’t know, Hermann, alright? That’s fine. You don’t have to know now, or—or even ever. But if—if you need me, I’m right here, okay?”

“Thank you,” Hermann murmurs.

They stand like that a while longer, Hermann tucked against Newt’s chest despite the oversized parka, and Newt lets him cling without comment, knowing that that’s what he needs right now.


End file.
